Friday, February 19, 2010

Day 4! A Little Late...

Ok, now I know why Sharath drinks so much coffee. I started the post below three days ago, and only just got back to finish it now. It's been great, the teaching, but the first week of getting used to it is very tiring! Yesterday and today I slept till 6:30 and I don't know how I'll go back to that four am call time!

This is what I was thinking three days ago:

That's right, it's only the 4th day of the teaching experiment and already I am exhausted. This morning I didn't even shower, and am sitting on the sofa with coffee at 4:30 wondering what I will wear. For the next two and a half weeks now, this (with shower added) will be my routine.

Wake at 4.
Teach at 6.
Practice at 8:30 or 9.
Sometimes teach again at 12:30.
Sometimes teach again at 4:30.

Saturdays I get to sleep till 6:30 or 7, woo hoo, as I don't have to get there till 9. But then, the subways don't really work as well on Saturdays.

It's an interesting thing. In some ways it is just as hard as I imagined. I am going to bed either really early and not seeing Brad at all (as in last night when I fed him dinner at 7, passed out on the couch around 7:45, and trundled off at 8), or I'm enjoying my fourth wind at 8, and then it's hard to sleep and I'm a wreck the next day. Also, practicing after teaching is tough in that I'm tired again by then. However, I'm also more "up" my muscles are functioning, I'm definitely much bendier without even trying. But I've had to give myself over to another teacher for the time being, rather than just practice on my own. She won't insist I do things her way, but it is MY way to do so. It's her yoga room, and if I want to get something out of my study, I should try it her way. Still, it's hard, it's a shift in focus. It's an ego moderating endeavor.

The great thing is, actually, the teaching. I do enjoy it. I've never taught a mysore room for more than a day here and there, and so didn't know what the whole life would feel like, and how it would feel to be in that room, knowing those students were relying on me for a period of time. It's different. For one day, you basically leave them alone, assist them only where it's absolutely necessary. For three weeks, you have time to observe, see the larger picture, figure out where to be and when in the room over the course of morning. It's exhausting! And totally fun. And nervewracking! This practice is deep and eprsonal and these students are used to Evan. They may be nervous. I mean, there's this one guy who's 6 foot 5 and all muscle. He lets me help him with drop backs, but you're telling me it didn't cross his mind that I might drop him that first time????

SO, from the 3 days later perspective, I'm excited to continue the experiment. I think I can tweak what I'm doing to make my energy more even, get a little more out of my days instead of feeling sort of blown away, like it's a "game on" time and real life will happen after. I know the three weeks will end, and I can get to all that leftover stuff later, but if I ever wanted to really do this, now is the time to find out if it's workable in a real life way. So, what grounding practice can I add in? Well, I should probably do pranayama instead of just emailing all the time, but I also need to be in touch with people. Its what makes me feel happy and alive. Ok, more thought is required. Check for updates!

And now, back to my regularly schedule coffee...I guess I'm not that stoic after all.

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